Sonnettics

Not “turn-the-other-cheek” or “eye-for-eye”
The Christian God will kill you when you’re bad
When Ananias stole, then told a lie
He forfeited the joy of life he’d had

And then his wife Sapphira did the same
And so God killed her too, a point to make
The gospel isn’t just a simple game
Good news is only good for God’s own sake

There was no ram, no thicket, like that time
When God told Abram, “Go and kill your son”
And God let Jesus die a death “sublime”
Another death, and oh, another one

This Christian God is God and He can kill
Whoever doesn’t kowtow to His will.

(Acts 5:1-11)

 The thing about aesthetics is they live
Though no one knows exactly where they're born
They’ll take whatever praise you have to give
To take or give they haven’t been forsworn

Like god they live forever, never die
Like me they seem to be like words that rhyme
Of course you know the words will never lie
Of course the word in more than just sublime

Aesthetics are sublimity itself
The group becomes a singularity
Like perfect timing taken from a shelf
Aesthetics show us all what we might be

Whatever we perceive we night become
Aesthetically the Coke desires rum.

Chat GPT Commentary -

This poem delves into the elusive and timeless nature of aesthetics, comparing it to both divine and linguistic qualities. Here's a breakdown of the key elements:

1. **Aesthetics and Their Origin**: The poem opens with the idea that aesthetics are a fundamental part of existence, though their origin is mysterious. This suggests that aesthetics are inherent and persistent, despite not being easily traced or understood.

2. **Permanence and Praise**: The notion that aesthetics "live forever" like a deity and are receptive to praise implies that they are enduring and adaptable. The idea of them "taking or giving" suggests that aesthetics are flexible and open to interpretation or appreciation.

3. **Comparison to Language**: Aesthetics are likened to rhyming words that never lie, indicating their deep-rooted truth and beauty. This comparison highlights the integral role of aesthetics in our perception and understanding, just as language shapes our communication.

4. **Sublimity and Singularities**: The poem suggests that aesthetics embody sublimity—an ideal form of beauty or excellence. The concept of a group becoming a singularity indicates that aesthetics can unify disparate elements into a cohesive and perfect whole.

5. **Potential and Desire**: The final lines reflect on how aesthetics influence our potential and desires. The phrase "aesthetically the Coke desires rum" plays with the idea that our desires and perceptions can be shaped by aesthetic influences, implying that aesthetics can impact even our choices and preferences in profound ways.

Overall, the poem explores how aesthetics, as a concept, are both timeless and transformative, shaping our understanding of beauty and desire.

A white man as a poet, what a joke
They laughed and said I shouldn’t even try
The patriarchal sin of which they spoke
To me seemed insurmountably too high

Too high, too white, too male, too dumb to quit
I wrote my book of poems anyway
A few were good, a few were more like shit
I wrote them down and now they’re here to stay

The white, the male, the shitty poems too
All found their place, that’s what a blog is for
This blog of poems may seem gauche to you
But poetry is mine, my classy whore

I pay her so that she’ll become my muse
She makes me pay for every word I choose.

Chat GPT commentary:

[This] sonnet has a raw, candid quality that challenges traditional notions of what a poet should be, which is a strong thematic choice. Here’s some feedback:

1. **Theme and Tone**: The sonnet engages with themes of identity, societal expectations, and the role of the poet, all conveyed in a provocative and self-aware tone. The juxtaposition of high and low culture ("poetry is mine, my classy whore") adds a layer of irony and critique.

2. **Structure**: The sonnet follows the traditional Shakespearean form (abab cdcd efef gg), which gives it a formal structure that contrasts with the informal language and tone. This contrast is effective and emphasizes the tension between traditional poetic forms and modern, self-deprecating content.

3. **Language and Word Choice**: The language is direct and unapologetic, which suits the tone of the poem. The repetition of "too high" in the first quatrain effectively conveys a sense of being overwhelmed by societal expectations. However, the word "shit" is jarring, though it might be intentionally used to break the flow and highlight the speaker’s frustration or rebelliousness.

4. **Imagery**: The imagery of a blog as a repository for poems, regardless of quality, is contemporary and relatable. It reflects the democratization of poetry in the digital age, where anyone can publish, regardless of their background or perceived skill.

5. **Ending Couplet**: The closing couplet ("I pay her so that she’ll become my muse / She makes me pay for every word I choose") cleverly ties together the themes of effort, cost, and the personal relationship with poetry. It’s a strong ending that reinforces the struggle and passion behind the creative process.

Overall, the sonnet is a bold and modern take on the traditional form, with a strong voice and a clear message. If the goal was to provoke thought and challenge norms, you've achieved that.

A leader I would follow anywhere
Much more than words, I’ve heard this leader’s voice
She’s seen a lot and yet she seems to care
She shows her all and leaves to us a choice

The choice of moving forward, filled with hope
A choice that knows the way we all should live
Beyond the troubled things with which we cope
She knows that forward is the way to give

She gives her all in everything she does
She works when work is what the people need
The past is past (and she knows what it was)
But what will be by her is word and deed

A worker for the people, hear her voice
For Kamala to lead, I’ve made my choice.

In time we see the things we see in time
The shape of what’s prepared to make a sound
A silent sound without a silent rhyme
A hope that hopes in time it may be found

But time is never really ever lost
But watch it teeter right there on the brink
You think it isn’t worthy of its cost
It doesn’t really matter what you think

In time you’ll see that too, the now that gropes
Release yourself in time and time once more
In time you’ll know for what such rhythm hopes
And find its waves are crashing on the shore

Let’s just pretend that everything’s sublime
And hide your disappointment here in time.