Archive for the ‘limericks’ Category

Santa Bitch

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022
At Christmas a young man named Mitch
Was given some coal and a switch
He’d asked for some porn
He cried out, forlorn:
“This sucks! Santa Claus is a Bitch!”

Salome

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022

Boy Scouts Will Be Boy Scouts

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022
· 
By the scout camp a river ran near
Where girls skinny-dipped without fear
Two scouts on a hike
One Fred and one Mike
Climbed a rock: “You can see ‘em from here!”

The Benefits of Ganja

Sunday, December 4th, 2022
Green bud can make smoke bluish-gray
Just inhale and then blow it away
Your head will be clear
And you won’t need to hear
The stuff stuffy people will say.

Dog On A Goat

Saturday, December 3rd, 2022
There once was a dumb dog that tried
On the back of a farm goat to ride
The goat jumped and bucked
‘Til the doggy got chucked
So a rodeo might be implied.

The Cherub

Friday, December 2nd, 2022
There once was a cherub, undressed
Who did what he always thought best
He climbed up a tree
And leaned in to see
The music that came from the nest!

Jack the Dragon

Friday, December 2nd, 2022
There once was a dragon named Jack
With spikes in a ridge down his back
He chomped down a horse
That was ridden, of course
By a knight that he saved for a snack

Bliss

Thursday, December 1st, 2022
Bliss
There was a young farmer named Bliss
Pursued by a pretty young miss
Though he pined for the field
He at last had to yield
She grabbed him and gave him a kiss.

How Durfwig Got Milled Flour Without Having Any Money

Thursday, December 1st, 2022
His wife made a fire for heat
But still they had nothing to eat
So he traded his shoes
For flour to use
And then he walked home with bare feet

The Man From The Sticks

Sunday, November 13th, 2022

The once was a man from the sticks

Whose limericks went on to line six

The form he forgot

Though he wrote quite a lot

That wonderful man from the sticks

Whose limericks went on to line six