Sonnettics

Surreal was not the outcome that I sought
As fast as I had gone down hills before
That place on Oran Delphi road, I bought
my Gatorade or flew right past the store
Nobody ever turned in front of me
on Truxton Loop, the Cuylers stayed so tame
But when I rode the dubya and oh dee
I found a hill and then disaster came
I rode into an intersection, fast
A driver turned her car and hit my ride
To lay beside the road I wouldn’t last
They helicoptered me and then I died
They brought me back to life with magic art
They made me whole when I was torn apart.

She tells me that she loves me with her eyes
I still remember when she said it too
To look at her is always a surprise
Her beauty grows each time I get to view
the love within her eyes and I can feel
the love she holds for me within her heart
When everything is false, her love is real
When everything is right, I’ll get to start
a journey to her love, in her embrace
Her eyes, her heart, her arms, her love is there
and I’m too far away to kiss her face
I hope she knows I love her, and I care
to give my love to her while skin-to-skin
My love belongs to her to take within

I miss my boy, and all the things we’ve done
I still remember fishing at the lake
I’m proud; I feel I have the perfect son
Whatever life may bring, I won’t forsake
my boy.  I am so lucky I’m alive
I work so I’ll grow stronger every day
I plan to take him for a “bonding” drive
I’ll listen to each word he wants to say
I know he likes to build and he is smart
He plays piano and viola too
I know he likes to read and that his heart
stayed tender as his bones and muscles grew!
I want to fill his tender heart with love
And every day it’s him I’m thinking of.

Don’t wait for me in any race we run
I never want to slow you down at all
I’ll make it to the end when you are done
It doesn’t even matter if I fall.
Because of you, I’ll make myself get up
I want to see you at the finish line
Be waiting with the wine and with a cup
We’ll drink and then we’ll kiss and you’ll be mine!
I’ll tell you once again that I am proud
You’ll win the race and I will win as well
I finished good and strong and you allowed
my life to run its course, although I fell
But if you fell, I’d stop, ignore the race
No matter where you are, I know my place.

I died last Spring and this is what I think
Too many morons think they know what comes
Although they’ve never even seen the brink
They’ve never even heard the beating drums
The woman with no arms embraced my ghost
We stood up on a mount of snow and ice
Of all the people there, it seemed the most
persistent ones were clueless, dead, and nice.
I tried to jump, but I was told to stop
It wasn’t time for me to be below
I still had things to do there at the top
I knew that there were things I didn’t know
My death was just the end of life for me
This second life is mine; it’s clear and free.

Today I found a Crystal, pure and bright
She bears more facets than I knew could be
My Crystal can diffuse celestial light
in all the colors anyone can see
A diamond is forever, and I know
my Crystal is a diamond, and she’s worth
much more than any rock they find below
the beauty that exists upon the Earth
I’m fortunate, my Crystal to have found
I’ve never been as rich as I am now
I want to keep my Crystal close, around
my life.  I hope my Crystal shows me how.
I need my Crystal diamond, not for show
But for her many facets, this I know.

Be real and I will gladly share your heart
I’ve had enough of fantasy and pain
Come hold my hand, be passionate, impart
your soul to me and I will not complain
of all that shit I used to say was me
like mold that ruins food we want to eat
I only want a friend who’d rather be
with how I was when I was whole, complete
I’m so naive to think there was a time
when nothing in my life required change
When every poem that I wrote would rhyme
Come show me life that we can rearrange
The prince is fast asleep, he needs your kiss
Reality with you would bring me bliss.

I wanted her to wait, and yet I knew
Uncertainty would take me where it would
She saw me off; I faded from her view
I didn’t want to journey if I could
But fate could give a damn what things we want
It took me far away and all alone
We felt each other, almost like a taunt
We loved each other, but we should have known
that separation always has a cost
we may not want to pay, and yet we must
I journeyed from my Love, and I was lost
regardless of my faith and of my trust
Now, if my journey brings me back to her
I’ll never leave again; she can be sure.

I wear my scars where nobody can see
They saved my life by cutting in my chest
My scars are on both sides, in symmetry
They drained misguided blood. I never guessed
my ribs could break and penetrate my lungs
Or that I would be saved; my death seemed timed
My life became a ladder and it’s rungs
became the pain I felt, and yet I climbed
My foot was ripped, it hung below my leg
They put it back with metal plates and screws
My brain was scrambled like it was an egg
I like to think I’ve paid all of my dues.
And if you want to see the scars I hide
Just lift my shirt, and please ignore my pride.

There is no sleep tonight; I seek my sun
I will not close my eyes; I will not miss
the end of night when morning has begun
Her light, her warmth are given like a kiss
I’d be a fool to substitute her touch
for something less; it wouldn’t be as real
It’s dark, but I will never suffer much
And so I’ll wait, and so I’ll get to feel
Celestial gifts of warmth, of love, of light
My world will turn and put me in her rays
It may be dark, but soon it will be bright
My nights will all be followed by her days
My sun brings warmth and love to all I see:
my world, my night, my sky, and yes, to me.